Some Thoughts on Having Two

I've had several people tell me going from one kid to two kids is the hardest transition. I can't verify that yet, but I can verify that two kids is harder. Period. Here are some conclusions I've drawn since Brady was born:

1. I am nursing, and changing diapers, and nursing nursing nursing, and changing diapers. This is how I am spending my days now. Now throw in getting the toddler fed, trying desperately to manage her newfound tantrums and attitude, and nursing some more...there is very little time for anything else.  Getting everyone bathed, and dressed (this includes myself), and out of the house even for a walk around the block is a much bigger accomplishment than I thought it ever could be.

2. Keeping up with the housework is next to impossible - but an untidy house stresses me out. So I make time! I am tired.

3. I miss having time to myself. At this point, it is hard to believe I will ever have time to read a book (I'm talking a book with no illustrations and more than five words on each page), work on any projects, or exercise ever again. I got one of those coloring books for adults that everyone is raving about these days. I got it right at the end of my pregnancy and I loved it! Now I'm afraid the pages will remain colorless forever.

4. Carly is TERRIBLY two. There is a saying that a toddler is like a blender with the lid off. Now add some extreme sass and a dash of dictator and you've a got a two year old Carly. She is very obviously feeling what it's like to share her parents with another kid and she isn't crazy about it. Fortunately she LOVES "baby budder" and only shows her darkside to Mom and Dad.

5. A handful of you know while I was pregnant with Brady, a few sad, stressful, and downright scary things appeared in my life quite suddenly. I truly feel that Heavenly Father sent me this beautiful boy to lift my spirits when no one else can. He is a blessing through and through. I love and treasure him more than I can say. He is calm and sweet and everything I need right now.

6. Despite the stress and tears having two kids brings, there are countless and fleeting moments that make it all worth it. The three of us took a walk the other day. Brady fell asleep on my chest, and Carly was holding my hand while softly singing one of her made up songs. I could only smile. In moments like that, I have never felt such a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

I've got this!!

Carly Update

I'm back! It's a new year and it's time to start up this blog again. After Christmas break, I was so overwhelmed with all the pictures and stories I wanted to share on here. So I just didn't share anything :) Now that I've decided just to skip over Christmas break, I have the courage to post again. (Sorry, Mom. You are welcome to look at the Christmas break pictures when you come visit!)

Carly is growing up! We thought she was fun before, but she just keeps getting more awesome! She loves a good laugh and is a dancin' fool! She only says two words: "Dada" and "Hi", but she speaks CONFIDENT gibberish ALL THE TIME. She is no rush to learn this silly English language.  She also knows she is super cool. She wears her sunglasses whenever we leave the house, She waves hello and goodbye, and she high fives.

 She is brave! More brave than Mom is comfortable with... She isn't afraid of strangers, of bugs, or going down the slide all by herself! (Which resulted in a goose egg on her forehead last week)

Her hair is growing out so nicely! We love styling it in new ways and playing with it in the tub :) She's good at sitting still while I style it, but she has a hard time not reaching up and pulling it out directly afterwards ;)

"Would you guys quit it?!" She loves us...

Daddy is hands-down her favorite parent. But I'm ok with that because he just happens to be my favorite person too :)

What I've Learned: Part 2

A few weeks after Carly was born, I blogged about what being a mom had taught me (here). She's 6 months old now, so I hope I can add a few more things to my list.

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1. Anybody who knows me knows I am not a patient person. But somehow, with this little girl I have found patience! I can hold her while she cries, change her diapers in the middle of the night, wipe the peas off her eyebrows (and mine), and do anything within my power to keep her happy without any complaint (usually).  Maybe it's because she is so cute.

2. I never expected to have a friendship-type relationship with my kids until they were older, but I am happy she has become my best buddy at such a young age.  She laughs at my jokes, and I laugh at hers. We are inseparable not only because we should be, but because we want to be!

Which leads me to...

3. Separation anxiety.  She's got it, but you better believe I've got it too.

4. Every move she makes is SO FASCINATING.  Learning to sit up, trying new foods, reaching for toys, eating her toes, singing a song... Sometimes I forget this stuff might not be so interesting to others (her bowel movements for instance) but other parents usually understand.

5. Her laugh. Literally the most beautifully happy sound my ears have ever heard.

6. She's so cute, guys. I want to eat her. I want to nibble on her chubby knees. That's normal right?

7. I'm starting to get a better idea of how much my own mom loves me.  Even better, I'm getting a better idea of just how much our Heavenly Father loves all of us.

Mothering children rocks. More please!

A Disappointment

I've had something on my mind lately.  I've been thinking back to high school. (Yikes, right?) Actually, I loved high school.  Both socially and academically I thrived.  Due to my competitive spirit, I worked very hard to excel in all my classes.  I studied hard for the ACT and retook it until I was proud of my score.  I surrounded myself with friends who had similar ambitious natures and we pushed each other to the top of our class.  When I graduated, I could tell many of the teachers I had befriended expected great things from me.  Similarly, I expected my friends to go to college and excel just as they had done in high school.  I knew they would achieve their various degrees and go on to have impressive careers. And I was proud of them! I know they felt the same way towards me.

But I had a secret. I didn't want some big important job.  Ever since I was little, I dreamed of starting a family.

Fast forward three years, one marriage, and one beautiful daughter later.  I can't shake the feeling that I have disappointed those teachers and friends. 

After my now husband proposed to me during my first semester of college, I changed my career path to something I knew would be flexible enough to allow me time to be a mother.  It's not impressive. But it's something. And more importantly, I enjoy it.

Six months into our marriage, I found out I was pregnant.  Nine months later, I am holding the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. 

Now that's impressive.

I have difficulty relating to those friends now.  Some I haven't heard from since I got married.  I don't blame them.  Life happens. And it happens at a different rate for all of us. I know someday those friends will start families of their own and it will be their turn to post endless pictures of their adorable children on Facebook. And they will understand. 

So to all those who are confused by the simple life I have chosen, please don't be disappointed in me. Please know that I am living my dream.  And thanks to my husband and daughter, I am the best, happiest, most selfless person I have ever been.

And the best part is - this is just the beginning!

What I've Learned

I have been a Mommy for almost three weeks now.  I'd like to share a few things I've learned/am in the process of learning.

1. I will never be bored again. Ever. And that's fine with me.

2. I could spend all day just staring at my daughter and be perfectly content.

3. I've never missed my own mom as much as I do now.

4. Breast feeding HURTS. But it gets better. And it's totally worth it.

5. The whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing is impossible for me.  If she's sleeping, I'm folding laundry!

6. Watching my husband play with Carly when he doesn't know I'm looking is my favorite. He knows he's got himself a daddy's girl, and he loves it.

7. I forgot how to make dinner for awhile there, but I'm getting back into the swing of things.

8. It is the coolest thing to see pieces of me and Matt in another human being.  She's a perfect mix!

9. Moms have super powers.  Not only do I have cat-like reflexes, but I can pick out which cry is Carly's in a crowd of crying babies.  I feel pretty awesome.

10. I didn't know I had the capacity to love someone this much.  Being a mom is the most selfless job I can think of.  And I am honored to join the ranks :)